You’re not in love. You may want your ex more than you’ve ever wanted anything else, but you don’t need him or her. Without condition means no matter what. However, when you’re head over heels loving someone, it means you know when to let them go and be where they’re most happy. Falling out of love can be really overwhelming. You don’t always get to decide who you fall in love with. We cannot change our pasts, but we do have the power to shape our futures. Encouragement. And we are super weird too :) I see you and I have these 1000 tiny butterflies in my stomach. I am falling in love and I don’t want to fly I just want to love you. Yes, it is possible to stop loving someone for no reason other than that over time you've fallen out of love with the person they are and the relationship no longer delivers the joy, fulfillment and shared support that it once did. “What we see with our eyes more wide open, and how we deal with what we see in our partner, is now going to determine the viability of the relationship.”. Obviously, you should get rid of these feelings as soon as possible. When you feel affection for someone, you want them around all the time. Your past relationships may have left you with a fear of abandonment or rejection, meaning you cling to love instead of accepting that you have enough love within yourself to not need a relationship for fulfillment. I'm 21, he is my "first" real bf.. my first love, first everything. We have had a lot of problems throughout the relationship, including heartbreaks and cheating from both sides. Definitely, and you can start to notice these changes after the honeymoon phase is over. “This is perfectly normal and natural,” says Dr. Brown. Whatever it is, focusing on yourself will allow you to grow from your relationship and channel your love into your own needs. © 2021 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. How could you ever stop loving your soulmate? Ask A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/ask-a-question/ Answer A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/forums/forum/qa/ Maybe you had a parent, close family member, or friend who left your life in a painful way. Perhaps you’re fighting on the reg — so much, that you feel yourself growing bitter toward them. You might also find yourself in an unhealthy relationship that needs to end, or have suddenly caught feelings for someone you shouldn’t be in love with but you just can’t seem to ditch your emotions. If you want to unlove someone, you need to stop thinking about the question: “How to stop loving someone?” and focus on things that make you feel good about yourself! But falling out of love doesn’t mean you and your ex have to go your separate ways forever. You can use this to feel empowered by your past relationship without longing to get back together. See also: ... Don’t ever be harsh on yourself. “This will especially be true if the breakup was not mutual, and if it wasn’t, it may not be possible to transition into a platonic relationship at all.”. Love is sacrifice and suffering, it’s not butterflies and romance - it’s being willing to give your everything and expect nothing in return. The only One who will continually love someone, no matter what is God. Sometimes our inability to move on is our soul telling us that we need to look into ourselves and address our pasts. That’s OK. “Platonic love comes after the physical desire has been removed,” says Winter. Realizing that something wasn’t meant to be won’t happen overnight, nor will it instantly cure your emotions, but it’s an important step in moving forward. Residual feelings can stick with us, leaving us regretting a breakup or struggling to move on. you can stop liking someone. Love is stubborn and sometimes it sticks around for a lot longer than it should. 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone, The 5 Most Common Reason Men Fall Out Of Love With Their Wives, If someone does not love you or want to be with you, I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It, 10 Signs He's A Genuinely Nice Guy, Not A Jerk, These 4 Behaviors Cause 90% Of All Divorces, What The 'Perfect' Mistress Looks Like (According To Men), How To Know (For SURE) If A Man Wants To Be With You. Falling in love with someone you can't have can seriously affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. You have been blessed with the power to love others and should embrace this, carry it into new connections, and form a love deeper and stronger than you’ve experienced before. Can we control it and cause it to dissipate when we need it to? It took me 40 years, but it finally happened. Breaking up with someone doesn't mean that you will stop being in love with them. It’s a beautiful thing. But being unable to stop loving someone isn’t always a bad thing. You may have even been the one doing the breaking up and now you’re left worrying that you acted too rashly or have made a mistake. If the person you're trying to stop loving is someone that you've relied heavily on in the past for emotional support, find a different friend to help fill that role. In time, you will be able to look back on your relationship with fondness. When she dumped me, I was still in love with her, and I thought there was nothing wrong with her. The important thing is that you feel comfortable in whatever relationship — or lack of relationship — you have with your ex. This is because true love can be eternal. You have the choice to keep the fire and passion burning, or go ahead and accept that your feelings are already fading. When it comes to not loving someone any longer, all you can do is go through it, believe your feelings for them will never change, and then watch in wonder as time passes and they finally do. What you need to do is get your shit together. Are you idealizing a relationship that was full of flaws? “Sooner or later, there is going to be a period where we transition into real love based upon the understanding that our partner is, indeed, not perfect… nor is even the best of partners,” says Dr. Brown. How do you stop loving someone who no longer loves you back? According to Dr. Brown, these feelings can range from “apathy, to confusion, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or relief if you’ve known for a while that the relationship is not right.” Maybe your busy schedules are making it impossible to spend time together, and when you do have the time, you’d rather be alone or with someone else. You might not realize the relationship has run its course until after the dust settles and you find yourself unhappy, asking yourself whether you can actually stop being in love with someone. The short answer? There are a few reasons you're finding it difficult to stop loving someone. This can teach us to hold on to love in the hopes of reconciliation when, in reality, it's better to let go. RELATED: 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone. She's super outgoing and super personable. It's unlikely that you will stop loving someone just because you broke up. This process can be painful. Going from being in love with someone and planning a future together, to what can feel like a “less significant,” friendly relationship can be extremely painful — even impossible for most exes. I truly believe you never stop loving that person, the person you felt true love for. so i don't why you cant stop loving someone... i think it's possible. Ah, your first love: that special someone who stole your heart first, and if you're being fully honest with yourself, probably still has it. Here we have a change of relationships and not a change in the heart. Love is free-flowing; at any given moment you can love many people at once: your friends, family and partner. Even though you’re are no longer together you still feel a closeness, a bond and a connection to them. “This is a compassionate, human type of love.”, According to Winter, romantic love is tricky, because even if the breakup was painful, you might still find yourself desiring your ex. How can you possibly stop loving someone when you never saw your life without them in it? And what’s more, I do believe it’s impossible for a person to stop loving, a human heart just was not made that way. You can start losing feelings for someone, but you cannot just randomly stop loving someone. That’s the worst time to get dumped, by the way. I know i have experienced that & when you run in to that true love again, you will see that it never ends. And they can be hard but if you truly love someone and they truly love you, some how they will always come back. These 10 quotes will make you stop loving someone who doesn’t love you. You are only human, and you don’t heal as easily as you’d like. Despite everything, we have somehow stayed together. “The reasons we do may be based upon physical attraction, qualities we see that we really like about them, and the promise that this person is or may be your ‘soulmate.’” Dr. Brown says this period of falling in love (otherwise known as the aforemetnioned “honeymoon phase”) can last from a few weeks to a few years. But do it genuinely for your own good and follow these steps on how to stop loving someone. And in most cases, if you still have romantic feelings toward them — no matter the reason for your breakup — a platonic relationship is unlikely. You don’t have to pursue friendship with someone you still care for if it’s going to be too painful. Ask a friend if you can reach out to him or her when you get the urge to talk to the person you're trying to avoid. This love can reshape and change, and become a comforting force. Not the same intense love you felt while you were together. Support wikiHow by unlocking this staff-researched answer. Yes it can happen, but maybe you will not stop loving them, both is ok.. you will, however, be able to stop thinking so much about them and let it be past and still live in the present Loving someone when things are rainbows and happy faces is the easy part. But the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t a death sentence for your relationship. But there comes a time when this loves suck out all your energy. Recently I have been thinking I might still love him a bit, the good parts about him anyway. Even though the relationship ended on not so good terms (he was a year older than me, and found a girl his age), I only wanted him to be happy so I let him go. RELATED: I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It. We often hear that love conquers all, but is it possible for us to conquer love? “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. Love doesn’t always go away just because we want it to. Your relationship might be long over, but that doesn’t always mean you’ve fallen out of love. Perhaps there’s some self-discovery you need to be doing in order to understand why you hold onto love, maybe you need to practice more self-love to overcome your fear of rejection, or maybe you just simply need to take this time to hang out with friends and reconnect with family. This can cause you to overthink and analyze every aspect of your relationship, instead of realizing that some things just aren’t meant to be. Often, when we look past our relationships, we find a truth that was lying within us the whole time. But in certain situations, stopping yourself from loving someone is next to impossible. Yes we move on & live our lives but no i don't believe you ever stop loving them. You feel good about having them with you, and you don’t ever want to say goodbye. It is quite possible that love for you is still there. The love you feel toward this person is still there. You can grow to have a love for someone without being in love with them. Stopping yourself from loving the person you “truly love” is possible, but the choice to take this course is still in your hands. ive never been in love so.. im just my rational perspective. Optimism is powerful but sometimes it helps to be critical so we can see exactly why our love didn’t work out. Relationships are complicated. While you may not have chosen it, relationship breakdown is an opportunity to get in touch with yourself. When you try to stifle love, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Often, the end of a relationship brings on a painful grieving process — not only for the relationship itself, but for the life you envisioned for yourself with your ex. But even if you can’t entirely stop loving someone who doesn’t love you or who’s caused you … It’s possible that you put aside your own aspirations, plans, and maybe even social ties in order to focus on your relationship. She was my first love. If you are talking about a romantic relationship, I don't think you ever do stop loving someone.The love can change forms however - it can change from romantic love to loving the endearing qualities a person has, or loving the time you spent together. And the only way for you to do that is for you to accept you were wrong. He was my first love, and I really did love him so much. “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. If someone does not love you or want to be with you, then it’s best for you to move on. If you are able to love and stop loving it means your love is conditional. I think you never stop loving a version of a person. Of course, there might be other things at play here, and sometimes our reasons for still being in love with someone are signs of some deeper emotional issues. Please read before you answer: I broke up with a guy a week ago, who I've been in an intense relationship with for a year and 3 months. It’s easy to over-idealize your partner during this time, but once you get past the gloss and start experiencing life together — and all the good and not-so-good it brings — that excitement and newness can begin to fade. Dr. Gary Brown, Los Angeles couples' therapist, Susan Winter, NYC-based relationship expert, This article was originally published on July 27, 2017, you can actually stop being in love with someone. My point is that when you start loving someone, you don’t stop. Time just has to go by and eventually, (it could be years later) you realize that you are no longer in love. “You just don’t feel attracted to them anymore. love is a concept. In some cases, friendship isn’t totally off the table. Tap into your personal ambitions and make some plans for your future. I was in a 3 year relationship up until 6 months ago. Are we missing our ex, or is this a disguise for some deeper pain? This resentment can result in a lack of attraction. If you truly loved someone, do you ever stop loving them? Focus on the present and recognize the reason why your relationship cannot flourish at this time. Though the breakup might be agonizing at first, love is an important part of the healing process so you can acknowledge you and your partner’s needs for separation. But a love that feels comfortable when you remember the time together. until humanity dies off, love can't stop. I'm 16, and me and my boyfriend of a year broke up in May. 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