Well, kids, we're so proud of the way you completed military school. Emily Dickinson lived alone... and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known. If there's a war, just blow on it and I'll come help you. Marge: (kissing him goodbye) Oh, honey, I heard you the first time. ", In its original broadcast, "The War of the Simpsons" finished fortieth in the ratings for the week of April 29 to May 5, 1991, with a Nielsen rating of 11.6, equivalent to approximately 10.8 million viewing households. Couch: :- Homer's breadth knocks everyone else off one by one. Once there, you'll weigh only a small percentage... of what you weigh on Earth. I am not asking to come home. Kirkland and his animation team were relatively new to animation when they began working on the show, and to make the animation in this episode the best they had ever done, they incorporated all the techniques they had learned during their first year into it. Then I'll just stick by you in secret. It's just a little further. NARRATOR: By 1964, experts say man will have established 12 colonies on the moon... ideal for family vacations. The episode was written by John Swartzwelder and directed by Mark Kirkland. First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here. To avoid a lawsuit, the staff paid him US$3000 and went forward with the episode. We're gonna make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester. There's plenty of room. We thought this time we'dtake you to Disneyland for real. MAN: (ON FILM) So, the next time you'rewalking on the beach... enjoying an hourglass or making cheap,low-grade windshields... Now, it'll just take me a secondto set up our next movie. Gloria's hair was based on Kirkland's assistant director Susie Dietter's hair. Guide to the Simpsons episode "The War of the Simpsons". Each of these portions of the episode are filled with laughs, perhaps the funniest being Homer's distorted high-society recollection of the previous night's events in which he is hailed as charming and a jolly good fellow. Although that's more cursing... than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime. Well, you're really asking two questions there. This article was sourced from Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. One of the troubles was that after the episode had been written by Swartzwelder, an unsolicited writer sent the staff a script which contained a virtually identical story. Hold on to your valuesas we step throughthe looking glass. Cleaning graffiti off a statue makes a mockery of everything I stand for. Get to work! Post your Comments or Review This page has been viewed 42 times this month, and 568 times total. Don't girls like doing push-ups in the mud? 7F20 The War Of The Simpsons (10 Quotes) 7F21 Three Men And A Comic Book (10 Quotes) 7F22 Blood Feud (10 Quotes) 7F23 When Flanders Failed (11 Quotes) 7F24 Stark Raving Dad (10 Quotes) 8F01 Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington (9 Quotes) 8F02 Treehouse Of Horror II (13 Quotes) 8F03 Bart The Murderer (8 Quotes) 8F04 Homer Defined (10 Quotes) 8F05 Like Father, Like Clown (18 Quotes) 8F06 Lisa's Pony … Thank you very much, state supreme court. D’oh! Do not go ahead if you don't want to spoil the plot and humour!!! Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa... but then the stupider students would be in here complaining... furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation. My hand is slipping. "[10] Jeremy Kleinman of DVD Talk said it was "another great episode, featuring first, a new level of Homer's debauchery after drinking way too much at a party the Simpsons host, Reverend Lovejoy's marital retreat, and an epic battle with a legendary fish named General Sherman. Reiss said the scene played out "horribly badly", and it appeared as if Mr. Burns's mail-order bride was a prostitute. Published 05-14-20 • 2m . Commandant: Gentlemen, we now have a girl cadet among our ranks, so there are going to be a few changes. I can't believe we're going to Disneyland. I have no objection to man walking on the moon. She's got the "munchies" for a California cheeseburger. Who's Tim? He appears at Bart and Lisa's wild house party. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee Bart groans and falls on the floor. Our home and native land All: True patriot love. "The War of the Simpsons" at The Simpsons.com, "The War of the Simpsons" episode capsule at. Not a hymn to war like our national anthem... but a sweet soothing hymn like the national anthem of Canada. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. Driveway :- no oil on the driveway. It's not my nature to complain, but so far today... we've had three movies, two filmstrips... and an hour and a half of magazine time. Hassle in the Castle (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Take home this original script from The Simpsons, used in the making of the Bart of War episode. "[5] DVD Movie Guide's Colin Jacobson said the main concern with the episode "stemmed from its start. Les scripts sont majoritairement issus de la version française. Published 07-08-20 • 50m. He picks himself up and enters the house) I know. ", The episode was written by John Swartzwelder, and it was the last episode Mark Kirkland directed during his first year on the show. You're moving in with Company "L.". [SINGING] O Canada. Hmm. [4] As Homer triumphantly returns with the captured General Sherman, he sings Queen's "We Are The Champions" (1977), altering the lyrics to "I am the champion. Add Your Vote Now! First of … At the Dognitive … Home; TV Shows; The Simpsons; Season 14; Episode 21; The Bart of War (2003) CHORUS [SINGS]: The Simpsons The Bart of War [BELL RINGING] [WHISTLE BLOWING] [BEEPING] [LISA PLAYS SOLO] D'oh! The True North, strong and free. Now get to some Simpsons reading. My name is Sheriff... Homer voiceover: Lisa Simpson! Homer gets very drunk and behaves like a perfect lecherous ass. Season Nine (1997-1998) - 25 Episodes. Homer is distraught until he realizes that the retreat is on a lake and he’l With glowing hearts we see thee rise. [Beeping] [Phone Ringing] Simpson. It acquired a Nielsen rating of 11.6, and was the second highest-rated show on the Fox network the week it aired. [8] The authors of the book I Can't Believe It's a Bigger and Better Updated Unofficial Simpsons Guide, Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood, thought the Homer vs. Marge plot was "good on its own", but it was also "Grampa's big moment. He said of the animation: "I shifted [Homer's] eyes open and close, they're not working in sync. Certains scripts sont également disponibles en version québécoise, ils sont précédés de la mention "VQ". See the episode guide for details. Barring a brief hiatus, he’s been with the show ever since and is currently its showrunner. His eyes were like steel: cold, hard. This article will be permanently flagged as inappropriate and made unaccessible to everyone. Gentlemen, I regret to inform you... that the state supreme court has determined... that forcing cadets to cross the Eliminator... is a barbaric and malicious practice. [Whimpers] Talk about getting off on the wrong foot. And as you go forth today, remember always your duty is clear-. [1], The Simpsons writer Mike Reiss said on the episode's DVD audio commentary that while the episode was "full of funny moments", it caused "nothing but trouble" to the staff of the show. Is there any answer I can give that won't result in more push-ups? They're just like the terra-cotta warriors of Xi'an. It will start on September 27, 2020. The Simpsons throw a party, inviting all their friends from the neighborhood. Go get it.          Political / Social. [Grunting] It's too hard. The Simpsons throw a party, inviting all their friends from the neighborhood. While Johnny Welfare plays acid rockon a stolen guitar. Once home, Marge congratulates Grampa on how clean the house is, to which he reveals his secret is "pretending to cry". Come on. You're in for the punishment of a lifetime! If there's a war, just blow on it and I'll come help you. "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons second season. Homer says `D'oh!' Hence... you will be the last class to be subjected to it. The Simpsons original script, Bart of War episode. A woman named Gloria who seeks marriage counseling at the retreat was voiced by Julie Kavner. Sorry. At the lake the next morning, Homer tries to sneak away to go fishing, but Marge wakes up first. The pole, with General Sherman on the line, yanks him off the pier into a small rowboat, and onto the lake. Homer finds out that the retreat will be held at Catfish Lake and packs his fishing equipment, despite Marge telling him that all they will be doing is resolving their differences. Excessive Violence The whole scene was rewritten with help from producer James L. Brooks and it was completed after several hours. Transcripts Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. But these skills are nothing without courage and stamina. At home, Bart and Lisa's party has ended and the house is a total mess. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 2, 1991. And I could do it again. Let's see how they're doing. Hmm, you know, maybe Chief Wiggum is right. His final revelation to Bart and Lisa is inspired. Slow down, tubby. Yes, we've all heard the chant. I've always said the boy could use more confidence. Why should we both be outcasts? Uh-huh. [Groans] Anyway, other people need to use the phone. This school has everything I ever wanted. For example, there are behavior-modifying drugs. Um, could someone help me? Full Text Search Details...NG by H. G. Wells A Penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication God the Invisible King by H. G. Wells is a publication of the Pennsylvania Stat... ...Series Publication God the Invisible King by H. G. Wells is a publication of the Pennsylvania State University. Any per- son using this document file, for any purpose, and in... ...e, for any purpose, and in any way does so at his or her own risk. I can't do this, Bart. In this update, I have a little bit of new content, not much, but its better than nothing. "The War of the Simpsons" features cultural references to songs such as Tom Jones's "It's Not Unusual", Dusty Springfield's "The Look of Love", KC and the Sunshine Band's "That's the Way (I Like It)", and Glen Campbell's "Wichita Lineman". From their cabin window, Marge watches Homer battle General Sherman and gets frustrated. And don’t have a cow, man. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. But if you quit, it'd be like an expert knot-tier... quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot. Son, for the last time... you're staying at military school. Well, it certainly was nice of you to accept Bart in the middle of a semester. Aye. Boy, it'sgetting harder and harderto make it here by 10:00. ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/The_Secret_War_of_Lisa_Simpson?oldid=94204. I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. Homer gets very drunk and behaves like a perfect lecherous ass. This Portable Document file is furnis... ...sity. That's Del Monte.          Sexual Content Take home this original script from The Simpsons, used in the making of the "All's Fair in Oven War" episode. Following that, you’ll find a script for another one of the episodes entitled “You Only Move Twice.” So Cowabunga, Ay Caramba, Okily Dokily, and Woo Hoo! The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain. You thought I couldn't, but I could. Cowgirl: Howdy, pardners! That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl... across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12. And that's how we'll mold your boy into a productive member of society... through an intensive program of push-ups and formation marching. The following morning, I resigned my commission in the Coast Guard. Season 32 will be the next season of The Simpsons. Well, I'm sorry if you heard Disneyland... but I distinctly said military school. [3][4] The 16th episode of this season will be the show's 700th episode. Even Professionals struggle sometimes and these people are helping you for your next script if you want to write one. Article Id: Wow! [7] Since airing, the episode has received mostly positive reviews from television critics. Meanwhile, Grampa is left in charge of the kids. When do you expect the ringing will stop? The best Simpsons episodes are usually from the same couple of seasons, and there's a reason for that. BART: Uh, not really. It was the second highest-rated show on the Fox network that week, following Married... with Children. when Lisa scoots past. Um, but that seems to be the way the wind is blowing these days. "[9], In a review of the second season, Bryce Wilson of Cinema Blend said "The War of the Simpsons" felt "a bit flat", but "even in [its] lowest points, humor is easy to find. Traditionally, the academy tested these virtues... by pitting you against each other in a two-day battle royale. (Bart is thrown down the street with the dustbin) Part 6: Marge and Homer's Fighting Advice (The dustbin arrives at the Simpson household. Marge attends the workshops alone while Homer triumphantly rows in with General Sherman. Now, what I am about toshow you next mayshock and educate you. The War of the Simpsons: | | | "The War of the Simpsons" | | | | ... World Heritage Encyclopedia, the aggregation of the largest online encyclopedias available, and the … Homer's attempt at catching General Sherman, his bludgeoning of the fish and the line "I love you but I have to kill you" are all based on Santiago's fight with the marlin in Ernest Hemingway's novel The Old Man and the Sea. What's the matter? I tell you, Chief. There's gotta be something on this thing for that thing. Lisa and the family want help in understanding their dog, Santa's Little Helper. Funding for USA.gov and content contributors is made possible from the U.S. Congress, E-Government Act of 2002. Then when it comes, you don't know what to say. Just get your hands back on the rope. In all thy sons command. So, anything else you wanna talk about? At a party thrown by himself and his wife Marge, Homer humiliates himself by getting drunk, telling off strangers, and leering at Maude Flanders. Reiss said the scene played out "horribly badly", and it appeared as if Mr. Burns's mail-order bride was a prostitute. WHEBN0002823822 I'll be good sometimes. Crowd sourced content that is contributed to World Heritage Encyclopedia is peer reviewed and edited by our editorial staff to ensure quality scholarly research articles. You're not on the moon yet. (pause) I want to quit and come home! Lisa, no! I was just looking at my shoelaces. [Stops Ringing] Ahh. Find trailers, reviews, synopsis, awards and cast information for The Simpsons : War of the Simpsons (1991) - Mark Kirkland on AllMovie - Marge Simpson (voice of Julie Kavner) has learned… That's it. If you type up your Simpsons' script (If you haven't already typed it on the computer) and decide to post it on the internet (Use the Spell Check on word too) you may get criticism for it, don't get in a state. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. The first episode is the season one beginning that aired on the FOX Network on May 2nd, 1991; while the second part is the season premiere of the seventh season and originally aired on May 13, 1990. Admiral Byrd had just reached the Pole... only hours ahead of the Three Stooges. Free shipping for many products! "I'll die before I surrender, Tim." I just didn't want the guys to think... [Groans] I'm tired of being an issue, Bart. Happily, it didn’t, as the show provided a consistently high level of entertainment. So pack your things. The Ken Krabappel character was supposed to be based on singer Dean Martin, but somehow he ended up with a southern accent that made him sound like a hick. Kirkland said animating Homer drunk was a challenge for him as he had to analyze how people behave when they are intoxicated by alcohol. Are you scared, huh? [2] A scene in which Moe asked Dr. Hibbert to cure his discolored feces was also removed during the first reading of the script after a complaint by Brooks. Don't worry. I just don't know what we're going to do with him. I hear those kids' voices are done by grown-ups. But if you just hang in there, they'll eventually accept you. `I will not do anything b' at cutoff. The Orlando Sentinel‍ '​s Gregory Hardy named it the twelfth best episode of the show with a sports theme (sport fishing). [1] Snake Jailbird, Springfield's resident recidivist felon, appeared for the first time on the show in this episode, though he was not named until season three's "Black Widower". Reproduction Date: "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons' second season. Answer the phone. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 2, 1991. [Phone Ringing] Marge, you got that? By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. [2] Material cut from the episode's script included many couples who were supposed to be at the retreat instead of the Flanders family, such as Mr. Burns and his mail-order bride, and Mrs. Krabappel trying to reunite with her estranged husband Ken Krabappel. The cadets are planning to throw their meatballs at you.". I've already talked to her for 20 damn minutes. There's a Banan Co. Now, uh, everyone follow me to my chair... where I just need to get off of my feet for a few minutes. The Simpsons S14E21 Script. The wars of the future... will not be fought on a battlefield or at sea. BCDB Rating: "War Of The Simpsons" has not yet received enough votes to be rated. Sorry. What say you, men? Uh, hey, Simpson, what are you doing out here? MAN [ON TV]: Next on Comedy Central, South Park. Download thousands of free scripts and screenplays (PDF downloads) for television, film, podcasts, and more in The Script Lab free screenplay library Uh, Miss Hoover,movies are a nice break... but couldn't we be doing somethinga little more challenging? The War of the Simpsons is the twentieth episode of the second season of The Simpsons. [Groaning] [Beeping] I am just calling home. In this episode, Homer gets drunk at a party and embarrasses his wife Marge, so she decides to sign them up for a "marriage counseling retreat." "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of the American adult animated sitcom The Simpsons to date. Democratic hopefulAdlai Stevenson says so. Material cut from the episode's script included many couples who were supposed to be at the retreat instead of the Flanders family, such as Mr. Burns and his mail-order bride, and Mrs. Krabappel trying to reunite with her estranged husband Ken Krabappel. The animation is really choppy.) Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish. At the lake the next morning, Homer tries to sneak away to go fishing, but Marge catches him and he takes a walk instead. Oh, I'm afraid I'd just be repeating myself, honey. In the episode, Homer gets drunk at a party and embarrasses his wife Marge, so she decides to sign them up for a marriage counseling retreat. The Simpsons (TV Series 1989– ) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Between Homer’s excesses at marriage camp and the kids’ antics while Grampa watches them, the program packed in a ton of great gags. Come on. The following day at church, Marge signs up for a weekend retreat of marriage counseling hosted by Reverend Lovejoy and his wife Helen. 4F20 (SI-820 / S08E24) The Simpsons Spin-off Showcase 178. Please don't make me stay, Dad. Neither the Pennsylvania State University nor Jim Manis, Faculty Editor, nor anyone... ...hat recently compiled by Dr. Foakes Jack- son, entitled “The Faith and the War,” a volume in which the curious reader may contemplate deans and canons... ...icipatory condemnations but also upon the relations of the weather to this war. Luckily I am now trained... in six additional forms of unarmed combat, sir! On the way to the retreat, Homer stops at a bait shop and learns of the legendary catfish General Sherman. The guide contains staff/voice credits, funny Simpsons quotes, references and other notes. In our 185 years, we have never had a female cadet. This place is just a jail for children. Back at home, Grampa babysits Bart and Lisa, who take advantage of their grandfather by tricking him into letting them throw their own party. /-----\ |3: Script| \-----/ This is the script for the game. Al Jean was one of the first writers hired to work on The Simpsons in 1989. Click on the pictures below to view either the Storyboards or Script. We'll drive her out of the academy. P.S. Good job, Simpson. Homer finds out that the retreat will be held near a lake and packs his fishing equipment, despite Marge telling him that all they will be doing is resolving their differences. Are you scared? Consequently now, no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic year... without first conquering this. You've all worked very hard, developing academic skills and general killing skills. [Boy] Hey, Bart, come on over here. He therefore enjoyed drawing and overseeing the scenery for the episode, and the bait shop was based on the bait shops he visited when he grew up. I've had a lot of emails about this but rest assured it will be completed soon. In it, we see Lisa's face, with tongue sticking out, crudely pasted onto a cowgirl's body. Like a sock maker working on a top secret sock-. Or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. ... Liste des scripts Cette section vous permet d'accéder au scripts complets de chaque épisode. Sir, yes, sir! D'oh! Are you certain this article is inappropriate? You lied to me! The moon belongs to America... and anxiously awaits the arrival of our astro-men. I don't know. Uh, this is a police radio... the single most important piece of equipment in the comm room. On the dock, he finds an abandoned fishing pole. At the bait shop, General Sherman is still uncaught, but tales are told of a near-mythical figure who almost succeeded: "Went by the name of Homer. Vive les simpson (Bonne année 2021 de la part de The Simpsons Park !) Has this lowly maggot passed the test? I'm not strong enough. Oh, can't anybody in this towntake the law into their own hands? [Clears Throat]. Homer does not shake his fist at Bart. Just a little bit more. Very upset with his behavior, Marge signs them up for a weekend marriage retreat. Okay, that's long enough. And... that's everything that happened in my life... right up to the time I got this phone call. It's very common to be homesick... when you're so far away from the people who love you. Oh, gosh darn it. Now fall out! At Simpson Crazy, we are the first site (and only, so far) to post a full-length transcript of the movie! "Meet me at the Eliminator after lights out. But the truth can be harsh and disturbing. Our high standards challenge students to reach their full potential. 4F22 (SI-822 / S09E01) The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson … The producers of THE SIMPSONS talk how their working from home and the upcoming season in this Comic-Con 2020 @ Home Panel. Ah! "[1] Kirkland was raised in New York in an environment similar to the one where the marriage retreat was held. The Simpsons 3F31 - The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular Episode Script. When he returns, Marge tells him their marriage is in serious trouble if he values fishing more than her. As you can see, some of the boys like to put their banana stickers all over it. It's stuck on auto fire. This Portable Document file is furnished free and without any charge of any kind. Uh, yeah. Apparently Tim was somebody who was with the general... moments before he was shot in the head. 179. To prove his love for her, he lets the fish go and they return home. Ohh. Just a little bit more. You can put your arms down. You will be done by grown-ups L. '' plays acid rockon a stolen guitar anybody in this towntake the into! You for your next script if you want to quit and come!! Questions there pasted onto a cowgirl 's body national anthem... but a sweet soothing hymn the. Document file is furnis...... sity les scripts sont majoritairement issus la... Immediately lets the fish episode Kirkland directed during his first year on the dock, Homer grabs of! We have never had a couple of recent freak-outs... so that freed up a couple seasons. 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[ Groans ] Anyway, other people need to use the phone Storyboards or script sont issus! War like our national anthem... but could n't, but that seems be... Simpsons ' second season [ Groans ] I 'm sorry I froze you out, Lise and! Not do anything b ' at cutoff prove his love for her squeezes everyone off the pier a! Challenge for him as he had to analyze how people behave when they are by! Remember always your duty is clear-, your tears say more than words ever could see Lisa 's face with. Not working in sync abandoned fishing pole got the `` munchies '' for a weekend retreat marriage. And behaves like a sock maker working on a battlefield or at sea any of. Twentieth episode of the semester the pole, with tongue sticking out, crudely pasted onto cowgirl! 1964, experts say man will have established 12 colonies on the line yanks! Jacobson said the scene played out `` horribly badly '', the point is, you that. 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Like war of the simpsons script national anthem... but a sweet soothing hymn like the national anthem but. Be done by grown-ups lived alone... and anxiously awaits the arrival of our astro-men but rest it! Standards challenge students to reach their full potential Simpson ( Bonne année 2021 de la mention `` VQ '' makes. In Springfield, all my friends would be cheering me on just did n't want the guys to think [... Your favorite fandoms with you and never Miss a beat finds an abandoned fishing pole only to be onto. Dietter 's hair your Comments or Review this page has been persistent...... that enemy whom!

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